There are four things you should know about me, before you read on:
- I have been working with my wife for years and years, and we still do so from time to time. – By the way: not as peasants, as actors 😉
- I can say, that I can distinguish very well between my working life and my private life!
- Most of the time I am very satisfied with my working life and as well with my private life.
- In the last 15 years I have been working less with my wife. I was working in an usual professional context – but still number 2 and number 3 fully apply.
A SMALL CALCULATION
A day has 24 hours. I hope you manage to sleep 7-8 hours. Less is not healthy on long term.
In a 100%-job you spend another 7-8 hours of your day, more is not healthy on long term. Plus commuting. If you work from home, there is still some extra time needed to make sure your internet-connection works or to get back into full concentration, when there was a private thing like postman, dog, kid, parents and so on.
The calculation is very simple: you spend a lot time of your day for work and I hope it is fulfilling and sometimes even fun.
But why then talk of work-life balance? Don’t we live, while we work? It’s part of our life!
So here already the term work-life balance does not make sense.
But let’s go on.
SO WHERE’S THE PROBLEM?
I hope your working life and your private life are both fulfilling. Sure there are always situations, where your trouble at work has an influence on your private life and vice versa. I had that and I am sure you have lived through these phases as well. But these moments should pass. If the one or the other is constantly happening, this is a real problem. But work-life-balance is not the solution.
Another problem is, when you can’t focus. This is, by the way, one of the biggest problems we have in nowadays working life in general: People are trying to multitask though they will never succeed! Teleconference, answering e-mails, paying the bill for the new couch you ordered at home, helping your kids with homework and keeping your pet happy.
We need to focus as well the other way round: If you are with your kids and can’t focus, because your constantly on your phone or thinking how to solve a work related problem. Focus on kids, on enjoying an evening off, reading, going the theatre, you name it. If you can’t focus, this is a problem. Work-life-balance is not the solution.
SUMMARY
So the problem is not, that one is work and the other one is life. The problem is to learn to make sure your working life fuels your private life and the other way round. Don’t cut them apart and try to balance. Try to harmonise them.
Sometimes you need to reserve time for one or the other. But this does not always help, because plans tend to change and then one or the other will suffer. So what you need is a planning that includes your working and your private life and sets priorities for both together.
Focus on whatever you do now! And since you have harmonized your private and your working life, you can do this with the full trust, that you still follow your priorities.
BACK TO MY WIFE AND ME
I mention my collaboration with my wife, because this could have been an extreme mess of private and working life. It was not, although we did never define time for “work” or time for “life”. Or maybe because we did not try to balance work and life.
We have clear priorities. We quarrel a lot during work and very little privately. And we both agree, that our private relationship and our family were more important than anything else.
I am not suggesting to copy us. But this extreme example shows what could make sense in many “normal” cases.